Learning in L'hôpital

So I'm no longer in Tacoma. I'm also no longer teaching. So I swapped out the verb and location present in the blog title to create a post title a little more applicable to my current situation. The word 'Learning' stemmed from the fact that I've been a student in a pretty intensive class entitled Trials And The Purpose of Your Life, the instructor for which is God (look ma, a metaphor!). I didn't get a syllabus at the beginning of the class, partly because I wasn't actually aware of my enrollment until recently. But now that I know that I'm in this class, I'm realizing how far behind I am on my notes and that I better start writing down everything I've learned before I forget it. So, although the original purpose of this blog was to share my experiences teaching the gospel, I feel like it's not too far off for me to switch gears over to share my experiences learning in the gospel. Oh, and L'hôpital is just the hospital in French. I literally typed "medical words that start with L" into google and took 5 minutes to scroll down the list of results before I decided to scrap that and just find a language that would better accommodate my need for alliteration. French, ladies and gentlemen. Where manicures are classy, kisses are wet, and they put party hats on their Os.
So while I'm not currently in a hospital (especially not a french one), I will be next week, and my whole last year of life has taken place in hospitals, and l'dôctors ôffices (fake french) as well as in my l'bed.

Back to the here-and-now, I've written up for your viewing pleasure a snapshot of what it's like to be me right now. And now, please enjoy: an average day in the life of McQuivs, illness-haver extraordinaire-
Sometime AM: awoken by abdominal pains. Rolls out of bed, maybe washes a dish or sends a text, eats something. Now returns to bed, overcome with pain and exhaustion. Sleeps for 2-4 hours.
Early PM: wakes up again. may get dressed and ready for day, depending on severity of symptoms. eats lunch. again retreats to bed and sleeps an additional 3-4 hours.
Evening: wakes up from 2nd nap. Greets roommate who is now coming home from work. tries to live vicariously through roommate's stories of the outside world. attempts to relieve frustration that the day is over and nothing is accomplished by cooking something. Eats a portion of what is cooked, which brings on more pain and fatigue. Returns to bed.

And then it all starts over again. I sleep 14-16 hours most days, and spend 20-22 hours in bed lying down. People ask me why I don't just not eat, and that does seem to be the best solution. Some days I'm stronger than others and I can go a while longer without food and then I don't have to sleep as much. Adderall, also, is a must if I have a commitment I can't cancel (like a doctor's appointment or church). I took a 2 credit class last term that was twice a week and had to take adderall and not eat strategically in order to attend class. But that meant each day following, I was essentially useless, and couldn't even get out of bed. It also burned me out pretty fast so I couldn't keep it up after the term ended. In summary, I'm basically the least fun person of all time. But as I'm learning in my Life Purpose class, that's okay. There are other things I'm supposed to be doing right now (learning patience is a big one), and I don't need to be at full physical capacity to accomplish those. That doesn't mean I don't want to be. Natural-man me (hereafter to be referred to as Natural-manQuivs) is eager to remind me that it's been 2 years and I'm only getting worse with no diagnosis or viable treatment options and what's the point of living if it's like this, yada yada. She's a complainer, I tell ya. But I'm armed with the knowledge that God knows me individually. That He has a specific plan and purpose for my life, and that in time, He will help me to understand how this illness fits in to all that. And that knowledge makes the toughest days a little easier to swallow.

If You Have A Queasy Stomach, Probably Don't Read This 5/27/2014

You've been warned. Now proceed:

 Our zone had a barbecue on Monday for our p-day activity. The theme was 'bring your own meat' (clearly an activity thought up by Elders). We had just recently inherited some squid as an answer to Noun's prayers (she had just said that week, dang I miss squid. Ask and ye shall receive, brothers and sisters.) so we decided to grill that next to everyone elses meats. There's 2 different kinds of pieces, the round ones which are squid body and taste like a lego tire, and the tentacles which are kind of like a chewy fish-flavored licorice with little suckers that pop off in your mouth. Needless to say I ate the most squid out of anyone present, including Noun who had prayed it there in the first place. I like to win.

Noun and Walker with the Cambodian favorite, Squid. Me with the American favorite, marshmallow.

After the barbecue, we had some leftover marshmallows and a rekindled love for s'mores, so that solved the what-do-we-eat dilemma for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next two days. Unfortunately our apartment has fire code law things so we're not allowed to have a campfire in our living room, even if it doesn't disturb the neighbors. So we're left to the stove top. We can't even use real sticks over a real fire. Clearly ​we're 

roughing it.

Not far in severity from the infamous Bird-Flu and Swine-Flu epidemics is Tacoma's own People-Flu disaster. All 4 of us in the Cambod house took turns having the flu over about a 3 week period until it mutated and went back around again. During this experience I learned that I have a non-functional gag reflex. We found that those of us who threw up were sick for less time than those who didn't, so one night of the flu when I was crazy nauseous, I decided to attempt to replicate what James Bond did in Casino Royale when he realizes he's been poisoned and drinks salt water to make himself throw up the poison. We put about a cup of salt in a full glass of lukewarm water. When we had done the same thing for one of the other Sisters, she barely took a sip and then immediately retched up everything in her stomach, so I was pretty confident this would fix the nausea. Yeah..I drank the whole glass. Nothing happened. My companion prepared me a second one, with double the salt just in case. I drank that one too and then just sat there calmly. After that it was just a game of what it would take to get the flu and the now gallon of salt out of my stomach. I pretty much boxed that little dangly thing in the bag of my throat as if it was a punching bag and I was this guy:

 

  Nothing. I tried being in a car driven by Noun which is almost guaranteed to make any normal person at least a little sick. Nope. I went to disney world and went on all the rides that hang you upside down and go fast. Actually I didn't do that but it probably wouldn't have made a difference. After an hour and a bajilion attempts at maneuvering a stick that could reach back to my tonsils, I finally coughed up like a supermodel's portion size of stomach contents. Not even a 1/10 of what I had in there. But at this point I was exhausted, and the Sisters were busy taking care of Noun (who had inadvertently thrown up just from hearing the sound of me trying to throw up. How is that fair). So I called it a night and accepted that I would just have a long, vomit-less bout of the flu. Evidently my stomach likes to win as much as I do.

Idea: when I get home I should apply for Fear Factor. People get out all the time for not being able to keep down the stuff they feed them. Evidently I was built for the eating challenges on that show.

I've been in the WA-TAC 52 weeks, which is a year, for a total of 62 weeks as a missionary, and I'm pleased to report that the church is true here too!

-Sister McQuivey, amateur boxer 

Something fun to do if you have 10 cents for the printer May 20th

Janessa's letter for this week (May 20th) was this Word document attached, and this brief message below:

Awkward that I just spent all my time on that worksheet. Hope it brings you a mild amount of joy.

HEY, ENGLISH SPEAKERS!

Trade in your boring name tag for a moment as you complete this fun, language worksheet.

Match the squiggles to the correct Asian language

안녕하세요 어떻게 지내                                   Vietnamese

ສະບາຍດີທ່ານວິທີການ                                     Thai

kumusta kamusta ka                                        Cambodian

สวัสดีเป็นอย่างไรบ้าง                                       Chinese

こんにちは、どのようにしている                           Lao

xin chào bạn thế nào                                        Japanese

你好你怎么样                                                Filipino

ជំរាបសួររបៀបអ្នក                                      Korean

Look at the faces and write in what language they likely speak

Language bank: Spanish, Russian, Cambodian, Chinese, Persian, Thai, Samoan, Southern, Japanese, German                                                                             

              

Which of these are tell-tale Asian house indicators?

ÿ        Fake plants, often planted in a garden, or on the porch, alongside real ones

ÿ        Bamboo in the front or side yards

ÿ        An absurd number of cars, parked all over the lawn and in front of the house

ÿ        A plastic ziplock bag with pennies in it, tacked to the top of the doorframe

ÿ        An unusual quantity of rugs or welcome mats, layered on each other

ÿ        An attempt at a full-size herb or vegetable garden, either in pots on the porch, or forced upon the front yard in an awkward make-shift garden

ÿ        The color red, especially accenting the house or the front door color

Have you heard..

About our cupcakes for Cambodians program?

Every referral you give either of us that we check and confirm it to be Cambodian, whether they’re interested or not, I’ll bake you a cupcake.  So.. if they close the door too fast and you’re not sure what kind of Asian they are, text us the address anyway! You might end up with a treat.

Have you ever wondered about the excruciating pain of getting a paper cut on your eyeball? 5/14/2014

5/14/2014

So here was Friday:

We went to our appointment with Brenda, she opened the door and let us in, we take off our shoes and sit down. Brenda has a bowl of fishsticks that she's eating for lunch maybe that's just her type of snack, who knows. We ask her how she's doing, you know, causal, pre-lesson, our-investigator-is-still-eating-fishsticks-so-we-don't-want-to-start-talking-about-Jesus-yet type chitchat. She says she's good, but she's sad because her brother is lost.

"Wait, he's lost?" 

"Yeah."

"Where is he?"

"We don't know"

"How long has he been missing?"

"5.5 hours"

"Oh my gosh! What are you going to do?"

"We already called the police. They'll be here any minute"

We're way confused and the mom comes in to try to explain to us in Cambodian what happened. Unfortunately we don't actually speak that language, especially when someone is hysterical over the loss of their child and so is talking super fast. We called the other sisters to come help us translate and as far as we were able to ascertain, Kosal (23 but mentally the age of a 7 year old) got on a bus for work that morning, and when he went to switch buses, he got on the wrong bus thinking it would be faster, and then no one knows what happened after that, except that his boss called at 10 to say he hadn't showed up at work. The other sisters left to the bus stop he theoretically should have gotten off on and looked for him along the route. After a while of trying to extract more information from Brenda's little understanding and her mom's little English, there's a knock at the door. 

Brenda throws open the door and yells, "WHO ARE YOU?"

"The Police"

"WHAT?!"

PAUSE- Remember how Brenda wanted Sister Walker to get the priesthood and baptize her because she thinks boys are gross? Yeah, as it turns out, her issue with boys is that she thinks they're way not-gross. Meaning, she is in love with all of them. Old, young, fat, bald, she has crushes on every boy and they all make her super nervous. We witnessed this firsthand as she periodically broke into giggling fits whenever the male police officer would ask her a question. 

So this is pretty much how the investigation went:

The cop would say something such as, "did you actually see him get on the bus? Or is it possible he walked somewhere else from the bus stop?"

Brenda would yell out, "WHAT?! Hehehehehehehehe" and then have to turn around because she'd be lost in a fit of nervous laughter.

Then we'd try to translate the question into Cambodian, which meant we actually just said basically the same English words but in a Cambodian accent. Brenda's mom would go off, talking super fast and waving her hands around for 2 full minutes, then leave the room. The cop would look to us to translate her response, and we'd say something like, "Um, something about a monkey on a fishing boat or maybe the number 7 or maybe she thinks Iron Man 3 was better than Iron Man 2. One of those". Then he'd look to the only remaining member of the family who was the grandma, who would just stand their by the pillar with her arms folded and nod occasionally. This went on for almost an hour. At one point, the grandpa came out of nowhere and pushed through everyone and was like, "Bye, I go to work now" and everyone completely calmly was like, "Okay, bye" but as soon as he shut the door behind him Brenda starts giggling and hiding her face from the cop and her mom is talking a million miles a minute in Cambodian and the grandma is still leaning by the pole. I start to wonder if grandma nodding is actually her trying not to fall asleep. The cop has pulled out notepads and is still asking questions that we can't answer and is wondering if this is perhaps some sort of prank. Brenda's mom goes and finds a phone that looks like it was purchased at the same time as the Flintstones computer, dials some number on it, and shoves it at the cop, who answers it, "Hello? Who is this? How are you related to, uh, these people?" On the other end of the phone was perhaps the only member of the family who speaks English, who from what Brenda's mom explained is somehow her husband, Brenda and Kosal's uncle, and her grandpa's cousin. 

The dad/husband/uncle/cousin then proceeds to move us back to square one by telling the cop no investigation is necessary, Kosal has no disability but just doesn't know English well, and that he would find him himself, thank you. After this phone call, the cop is ready to leave an abandon the case because a perfectly functioning 23 year old doesn't need the police out looking for him. We're begging him, "No no no don't leave yet hold on that guy didn't know what he was talking about" and then have to get out all these documents from doctors and counselors that say that Kosal is indeed disabled, and if he got lost he wouldn't be able to think through how to get himself home. 

The cop finally leaves, still way confused and grumbling something about how he was not adequately trained for this (I made that part up) and we're trying to talk to the family and calm them down (except the grandma who was the calmest and definitely asleep at this point). We sang a lot of primary songs and everyone present said prayers that Kosal would be okay. After another little while get a call from the dad/husband/uncle/cousin who says he found a Taco Time, to which Sister Dunster explains, "no, we don't need a Taco Time, we're looking for Kosal." Then Kosal's boss calls and says he just showed up at work, starving and exhausted. Evidently, after getting off the other bus and realizing he was all the way 2 towns over from where he was supposed to be, he just walked all the way to work, which took almost 7 hours. 

The family is relieved, we say a prayer of thanks with them, and then leave. 

The next day, we got a call from Brenda: "I want to say thank you for helping find my brother, and also, can I come to church on Sunday?"

So, out of all the madness, Brenda's faith grew and desire to follow God increased. Brenda's mom trusts us a lot now and her willingness to let us come over increased. Kosal's desire to take the right bus increased. The grandma's need of sleep decreased, because she napped peacefully during the investigation. And the dad/husband/uncle/cousin's desire to eat Tacos probably stayed about the same.

Also, the last visit we had with Brenda, her mom came in and said thank you to us for helping. Either that or she said that Iron Man 3 is better than Iron Man 2. We're not totally sure. 

I've been in the WA-TAC 50 weeks, and the church is true here too!

-JMcQuivs, regular civil servant

 Janessa and Sister Dunster on Transfer Day

Janessa photo bombs another companionship!

Mother's Day Skyping

Mother's Day Skyping

Sister McQuivey began her skype session with a stack of papers in front of her face. Each one had a sentence and sometimes a picture on them, taking us through 6 stages of "Janessa's life."  Which led to the final stage--stage 6.  Where the last paper announced..."Blondes have more fun."  We all kind of screamed a bit, and then the papers came down, and we saw this awesome looking Janessa.  Isn't she cute?  Look how long her hair is too!  She went blonde at 6:30 a.m., Sunday.

 Isn't it true that Cambodian writing looks like Ramen Noodles?

Miss this adorable girl! We had so much fun catching up with her.  Our hour was up too fast. She got one on one time with every member of the family, including Jansen who was skyping in (audio only) from Utah. Every member of the family loves her and had so much to talk about with her.  Janessa is just a bundle of fun, enthusiasm, creativity and sun!

Best Mother's Day Present!

Now this is the story, all about how, my life got flip turned up-side down

5/6/2014

Hi, this Quiv-zell. Is you okay? Is you? Cause I wanted to know.

 

It's Mother's Day week! Hal-leh-luh, everyone knows that for a missionary that is one of the biggest days of the year! Because this is the time that we can see.. so many lovely spring flowers and share poignant motherhood themed messages with our investigators. Oh and as a side note, this Sunday I'll be on skype at 3 or 4 Washington time, 6 or 7 Boston time. If you (meaning my family. The rest of you should probably spend time with your own moms) could also be on skype at that time, that would be convenient. 

Also, you might not recognize me..since Christmas I've gained 200 lbs, died my hair black, and wear heavy eye make-up and purple lipstick everyday. My companions think I'm goth, but really I'm just depressed about the state of the world and how much sadness there is so I like to try to express my emotion through my appearance. I'm also putting together an album of emo primary songs such as "Whenever I hear the song of a bat, or look at the dark, grey sky" and "Head, shoulders, knees, and tears". Other than that though, I'm basically the same!

This guy Ross came to church for the second time on Sunday. We're thinking we're probably going to have to turn him over to the other Cambodian sisters to teach, because he doesn't have any teeth and our mtc training did not teach us how to understand a toothless Cambodian. 

Brenda, our favoritest 21 year old with a 2100 year old computer, is now on date for baptism! She wants to plan on June 7th because that's when she graduates from her special education program and so it makes sense to her to wait until then. We tried to push the date closer, but she wants her grandpa to baptize her and he's been inactive for 10 years so he probably needs the month to get re-activated before then. It seems far away, but Brenda still wants to plan out every detail now. Thus far she's requested that we play board games and eat fried rice with little hot dogs and eggs cut-up in it. I'm not sure that's okay, but it's still more reasonable than her previous requests (which have involved having Sister Walker get the priesthood and baptize her, because she considers boys icky).

Something that happened a little while ago: we briefly changed religions.

How this occurred: We were out knocking on doors in January-ish, a little after 6. We knocked on a certain door behind which we could hear some woman watching tv. As she answered the door, this was the conversation that transpired-

WOMAN "Hi, can I help you with something?"

US "Well, we're the missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We're out tonight looking for service opportunities and inviting people to hear a quick message about Jesus Christ and how His restored gospel can bless our families and bring them closer together."

WOMAN "Okay, that would be fine.

US "Do you already have a belief in Jesus Christ? What is your religious background?"

WOMAN "I'm Jehovah"

US "Oh, a Jehovah's Witness?"

WOMAN "No, a Jehovah's witness is someone who witnesses Jehovah. I am Jehovah"

US "So in that case, I guess we would be Jehovah's witnesses?"

WOMAN "Well right now, yes."

And that's the story of how we briefly became Jehovah's Winesses. We talked to Jehovah for a little bit longer, she was an older black woman who appeared to be schizophrenic. She ended up not being interested in our church, because she was so busy with watching over and taking care of all her children on the earth that she didn't have the time. Understandable. Sounds like a big job.

 Riding the Bus to the temple! We LOVE to see the temple.

God answers prayers. I've done a segment on this before, ie when I asked to be humbled, when I asked to learn patience, etc. This was a prayer of a different nature. I've been really missing music lately, not that EFY music and Mo-Tab isn't great, but there's only so many times you can listen to the same cd before you consider ignoring the warning on the q-tip box and stabbing out your eardrums so that you don't have to hear it any more. That is only a slight exaggeration. I told my Heavenly Father that I was having a hard time missing my music back home (The Hush Sound and Bon Iver, anyone?). Then on Monday, our preparation-day, we went to the mall. I was in a store looking at some tops while my companion was in the dressing room. I suddenly became aware of the music that was playing in the store, and started to listen more closely. These were the lyrics:

I just wanna make-out with anybody anywhere, yeah, I don't care.

I just wanna make-out with anybody anywhere, uh, I don't care.

This continued for a while, then there was the bridge:

Your hair is everywhere, it looks like broken promises and infidelity

Your hair is everywhere, but now you're with him and I don't care so I wanna make-out with someone, anyone, anywhere

The classiest song I've ever heard. Yeah it doesn't sound like I'm missing much. I promptly said a prayer of thanks for showing me that there's not a lot of music coming out worth listening to anyway. Also it made me realize that people really need the gospel in their lives so they'll have more purposeful lives with more legitimate feelings to write songs about. So I guess I'm okay with being a missionary for the next 5 months.

Thank you Tutu and Mom for the Easter Packages! And Tutu for the sock package! I polished off all the candy and put on every pair of socks at once. It was excellent.

Cambodia, the country that's only had branches and wards for as long as it's had members, just announced that they're forming 2 stakes on May 24th. That's a way big deal! Sister Noun is way excited, she's been out for a year and a half now and the church has grown so much in her absence. She'll go home to many more members and missionaries than were there when she left. And for all my many friends from the mtc who are serving in Cambodia, this is a big deal for them. Thailand's been open for missionaries since the 70s and only has 1 stake. Cambodian only opened for missionaries in the mid-90s and they're growing so fast! Maybe some of that excitement will trickle down over here we'll start a group soon. 

 

I've been in the WA-TAC 49 weeks, I lied when I said I'd write you a letter last week, and the church is true here too.

-Sister McQuivey, former JW.

Untitled 4/29/2014

Sorry about your eye, that sounds painful!

I have to go early to transfer meeting today because my companions in a musical number that needs to practice. That means I have to leave right now, pretty much. But I'll write something later this week

Temple week, fun facts about your friendly neighborhood asians, and stages of grief

4/22/2014

That title was the most direct summary I've ever done. Like Isaiah, I'm trying to be plain in my speaking.

We went to the temple this week!

It was the best thing in the world. I actually felt a physical ache when we left and I realized how long it would be before I had the opportunity to attend again. But- you know that quote about "missionaries: people who leave their families for a short time so that others can be with their families for eternity", even as dramatic and overused (I've seen it on scarves) and footsteps-in-the-sand-ish as that is, it's true. That's our purpose and our hope. And the families we're working to reactivate in the church, we hope to be able to help them reach that goal of being sealed as a family for time and all eternity. Remember Aaron, who got baptized back in last June? He's approaching his year mark, and his wife Toni already passed her year mark in March. They want so bad for their marriage to last beyond the grave, so that they're still husband and wife in heaven. So they've set the goal to go to the temple as a couple and be sealed on June 28th. Because I had the privilege of teaching Aaron through to his baptism, I (and hopefully several other missionaries who've worked with them in the past year) will be able to attend that ceremony. What a wonderful blessing! I'm so grateful they've stayed faithful to the covenants they made at baptism so that they can look forward happily to the day that they'll be able to be sealed in the temple.

Some things you didn't know about Cambodians:

*They do not like the Vietnamese. It all goes back to the Khmer Rouge, which makes sense because most people don't like invading forces in their country. Go study something about Cambodian history if you want to know why. Back when they had an operating branch here, it was the Asian branch, not the Cambodian Branch. So it had a little bit of everything: Viet, Cambo, Thai, Laos, Chinese, Korean.  And when it was at its peak of activity, the branch was split into 2 branches which met in separate buildings across town. If you were Vietnamese, you went to the one in Hilltop area in the Stadium building. If you're Cambodian, you went to the one on the East side in the building by Safeway. Everyone else went with whomever they most identified. That's how much they dislike each other - it was best for their spiritual development that they remain separated. Think Samoans and Tongans, or like Jews and Samaritans. It's funny though because a lot of them have mixed heritage (like hardly anyone is 100% Cambodian) and so a lot of them have a portion of Viet in them. But they don't claim it as their own, and seldom admit it's a part of their ancestry. A few times lately, investigators or members who feel very close to us and really trust us will whisper that they're a 1/4 Vietnamese, and then act all ashamed like they just told us they've broken all the commandments. We try to be understanding of how big of a deal it is that they've shared this, and assure them that it doesn't change our views of them or make us or God love them any less. 

*They love Safeway. It's a ridiculously high-priced grocery store, where the same things you find at the dollar store are priced at your-first-born-child and $0.99 (but if you have a safeway card, you can get $0.30 off so it's only 1 small child + $0.69. That's what I call a deal). For this reason, it makes no sense that Cambodians love this store, when most of them shouldn't be able to afford it. They make the bulk of their income from going up into the mountains to cut bear grass, bringing it into their garages, inviting all their friends over to thrash and bundle it, and bringing it into seattle to sell it to be used in flower arrangements. It cuts up your hands. I'll send pictures (woohoo self-mutilation). Anyway, most of the cambodians are struggling financially, especially because they abuse the concept of credit (they all own houses and cars they can't afford, which they now work non-stop to try and pay off) and they love to gamble (it's a cultural pastime. They have slot machines in the buddhist temples). So they shouldn't be shopping there. But they all know and love Safeway. So it's easy to give directions to our building because we'll tell them left, here, right here and they look at us with blank faces. Then without fail, when we say, "it's ក្បែរ Safeway" and they all go, "ohh, Safeway" and nod understandingly.  It's a great place to find potential investigators and overpriced food. 

These are our Best Friends, the GQs. On the right is Kid Zion, famous for lyrics such as "they tell me I'm a stranger in this land- gringo. But when it rains you know I stay warm- peacoat. Eat mormon crickets till I barf- seagull. When Christ be at the bar you know he judge- legal". On the left is just plain Larson. They use the same hair product and only wear skinny ties. If they are given a tie that's too wide, they skinnify it before they ever where it (where you un-stitch the back of the tie and cut the sides off and re-iron it and re-stitch the back so it's thinner than before). They shop primarily in the mens section of H&M, as well as some retro thrift stores.

Something you didn't know about me: 

*Because it's me, and I'm pretty vocal about whatever's happening in my life, I've found that my recent gluten/casein sensitivity and therefore my decision to avoid these things largely affects the lives of my companions. So in order to be more accommodating, I have constructed a system that warns them of my mood before they need to encounter me. On a prominent wall in our house, I have hung a sign that says, "Today I'm experiencing.." and then a space to hang what the answer of the time is. In a envelope next to the sign, I have written out on index cards the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, bargaining,  and acceptance. So depending on how I'm feeling about my diagnosis that day, I hang the applicable index card on the wall by the sign. That way my companion and the other companionship in the house knows to deal with me accordingly. For example, when I'm in my denial stage, I'm way into anything that would distract me from the diagnosis, so I get into all these projects and things. If my companions see denial on the board, they know its a good time to ask me for a favor because I'm looking for ways to ignore the problem. In bargaining, this is the time in which I've decided its not that big of a deal if I have this or that thing that contains gluten. My companions know this is the time to ask me to bake them things or go out to eat. In  pretty much all the other stages they just avoid me. It's a rather effective system. Mostly because it gives me something distracting to do when I'm in my denial stage.

And pictures:

 

We get transfer calls this week on Saturday. Wowskies this one went fast.

Thanks to Tutu and Mom for the most excellent Easter packages! We died eggs at the church on Monday and then hid one (hardboiled) egg at a time somewhere in the Young Women's room for our companions to find. By the world's standards, a lame Easter. By my standards..I have received a plethora of candy and seem to be gaining weight at a steady rate so I say Easter well done. 

I've been in the WA-TAC 47 weeks, and the church is true here too!

-Sister McQuivey
word, homefriends.

More photos:

perks to being on foot!

why, even with a gps, it's sometimes hard to find the people we're looking for

look, my calves are pinker than the skirt! hahahaha

  just attending the temple like a regular baller. 

Happy Easter/New Year 4/16/2014

April 16, 2014

I live at
4525 S Warner
bldg H # 74,
Tacoma WA 98404
And I've gotten all the mail that's been sent to the office! Thanks for not forgetting about me. I like being a missionary with less than 6 months left who still gets mail, that doesn't happen much around here and it makes me feel loved that even after a year you still miss me.
On Monday I hit my exactly 6-months remaining mark. This is different from my year mark because you go home from your mission at the end of your 18th transfer (each of which is 6 weeks) for elders, and 13th for sisters. So I did 1 transfer plus 4 weeks in the mtc, which means I hit my 1 year a month before I hit my 6-months left.
This week is Cambodian new year, which means 2 weeks of nonstop partying..for our investigators. For us it means no appointments because everyone's at the buddhist temple all day everyday, and when we drop by their houses they're hungover and not in the mood to visit long. But when we have been able to meet, we've had the special opportunity to share Easter themed messages with those we visit. We're always teaching and testifying of the savior, but the approach of Easter Sunday means that we get to put special emphasis on the miracle of his resurrection and the assurance it gives us that we too will live again. If you haven't already seen Because of Him, look it up on YouTube or go to mormon.org/BecauseofHim . The church put out a great video commemorating Easter Sunday and Christ's resurrection. I love sharing that message because it brings comfort to everyone for different reasons- those who've lost a loved one, are suffering from a physical ailment, or who feel burdened down from the guilt of past mistakes- all can find peace in the knowledge of the resurrection.
I'm especially grateful for that knowledge in the anniversary on Sunday of my uncle Jarrod's passing. I never met him, but i know where he is and that I'll be able to spend an eternity following this life getting to know him. All of that is thanks to the atoning sacrifice and resurrection of our Savior.

I've been in the watac for 46 weeks, i only have 6 months left, and the church is true here too!
Sister mcquivey
Also i would like to point out that i typed this whole email out on one of the smartphones in the sprint store so whattt i haven't forgotten how to use technology. 

Conference week and we doin alright

This is our week to be on foot, so we anticipate street contacting a lot of white people and turning them over to their respective English speaking missionaries. I feel like the weeks we don't have the car, we're pretty much full-time referral-giving missionaries for whoever's area we're in at the time. It's great for them, it's slow for us. On occasion I wish there was just a Cambodian area where all of them were required to live and then every door we knocked on would be someone we can potentially teach. Obviously that's the definition of segregation and not okay on so many levels, yet that thought has crossed my mind. Apparently walking is getting to my head a little, probably because I forget what it feels like to exercise.

This past weekend was conference weekend, but only for us and 1 of our investigators. They broadcast conference in about 10 different languages, but Khmer isn't one of them. The LDS website indicates conference will be available in 80 more languages between 2 days and 2 weeks after it airs. So assuming Khmer is one of those languages, we'll be able to watch it/listen to it with our investigators and members somewhere between today and the end of April. 

Conference was bomb-diggity though; we got to watch the Saturday afternoon session with Brenda at her house on her home computer. I'm pretty sure hers is one of the first computer prototypes and belongs in a museum with other fossils of a similar age. It doesn't help that she's a Torch user (which she explained by saying that it was faster than IE. Well, yes. Everything is faster than IE. That's like saying I choose to ride a snail to work everyday because it's faster than a banana. While true, this statement disregards your other options, namely a Ferarri (mozilla), or an Aston Martin (chrome). I would like to say that I converted her, but I'm pretty sure part of her rational in browser choice has to do with that she likes the colors of the torch desktop icon, and I just don't know how to argue with that). 

I ended up downloading chrome for her and that only took 40 mins (surprising because I'm pretty sure the innards of her PC look like a scene from the Flintstones, where there's little cavemen who have to hand draw every webpage before its available for our viewing). We started the second session 40 mins late, and it froze about every 5 mins or so (which provided for snack/bathroom breaks) so by the time it reached 3:00 pm and the computer froze for good, we had missed the last 3 talks of the session. But it was probably a good thing for Brenda, who was tiring quickly and might have resolved to never attend church if we'd ended up doing the full 2 hour session with her. A lot of it went over her head, but in her closing prayer at the end of the lesson she said, "thank you we got to watch the conference and learn about...Jesus." So evidently she understood the overall purpose of the talks, even if some of the words confused her.

And of course, that is our purpose and goal as missionaries: to invite others to come unto Christ. I loved Ballard's talk where he 'followed-up' on two previous talks. That's something I'm working on being better at as a missionary. It's difficult when you teach 20 lessons a week to all different people with whom you leave different commitments. Sometimes I show up at a return appointment and get their previous lesson confused with 10 others and don't remember exactly what I committed them to do. But if we want these people to progress in receiving the restored gospel and coming unto Christ, we need to help them make and keep commitments so that they'll be prepared to make and keep covenants. And I can't help them do so unless I'm following up with previous commitments, and helping them understand the connection it has to their personal spiritual growth. 

Hey, this week get your PMGs so we can start like a book club next week. How cute would that be? Families that study together are silly putty together (and who doesn't want that?)!

I've been in the WA-TAC 45 weeks, and the church is true here too!

-Q

(just kidding. Sister McQuivey. But look how well that last line rhymed)

Don't You Love It When E-mail Day Lands On April Fools?

April 1, 2014

This has been a crazy week, even by our standards. First of all, remember Veasana, the one who writes the letters and proposes to us on the daily? Well, he was up to his old schemes in our latest lesson. The problem being that Sister Dunster hadn't gotten the best night's sleep the night before, so she was dozing off as he was talking. I elbowed her awake just as Veasana finished professing his undying devotion for us, and I guess she was in a dream because she woke up and yelled out, "I do!" (she later explained to me that she'd been in a dream in which the mission president had asked, 'who wants the last slice of cake?' and that's what she'd been responding to. Poor timing). Veasana was so excited, he lept up out of his chair and ran out the door to start making arrangements. Unfortunately since then, we haven't been able to get a hold of him to explain the error. His phone line is tied up because he's been trying to make reservations and book a florist and caterer. I was having so much fun thinking up cake flavors and dress designs that I just decided to get on board with it as designated wedding planner. Dunst was still opposed until she saw that she could put a baby grand piano on the registry, at which point she gave in and accepted the engagement. All Veasana can afford right now is a ring pop, which Dunst doesn't love, but I'm thrilled with it because it means I have a gluten-free snack with me at all times.

Then of course, it just got nuttier when the other Cambodian companionship crashed the car. We've been switching off every other week so far, but now without a car, we're forced to be full-time skateboard missionaries. President has asked that we spent 30 to 60 mins a day, following language study, at the local skate park practicing. He feels like we'll be much more efficient missionaries once we can skateboard quickly, and also hopes that we might pick up some investigators when we're showing each other skate tricks. So far, I've mastered the ollie, the nosegrind, and a pop shove-it. Dunst on the other hand has got down the inward heel flip and can land a frontside on a half pipe pretty comfortably. It hasn't resulted in more teaching opportunities thusfar, but we have learned some valuable slang and it's given us a whole new area to draw lesson analogies from, so that's promising. (For years, people were riding goofy footed because they didn't know how to skate correctly. This was called the apostasy, bro.)

Finally, we've officially decided it's more worth our time to just be full-time Buddhist missionaries now. You see, all Cambodian people out here are already members of the church, but have been going to the Buddhist temples in the years since their baptisms. When we ask them why, they explain to us that Jesus Christ and Buddha are the same, because they both teach us to do good and not go to jail. I didn't know that's all it took for religions to be the exact same! What's with all the religious confusion when all churches that recommend we don't spend years behind bars are actually the same church? So because Mormonism and Buddhism are so similar, we've decided to start teaching Buddhist doctrines to all we meet. It's difficult because we don't actually know any, so we mostly just roll down the car window and yell at kids on the street to do good and not go to jail. It's going really well, except that we did get into a Spanglish fight with a Mexican mother for making her son Jose cry when we asked him if he wanted to go to jail. We called the Spanish Elders (who are now teaching Catholic doctrine to their investigators) and they quickly cleared it up by saying "estas chicas están locas en la cabeza" which they said means "these girls are beautiful daughters of God so don't get upset with them". We're so lucky to have them on our side!

That's pretty much all that's happening with us! Oh, except that I'm in love with my district leader and I'm leaving my mission early to marry him. I don't know what his first name is yet, so just go ahead and tell people that his name's elder. We got matching tattoos of our name tags over our hearts, because we love being missionaries. Isn't that cute?

I do insist that Parson Brown officiates the marriage, because he asked me if we were married and I said no man, but that he could do the job while he's in town.

-Sister McQuivey

WHAT? I do not believe that!

3/25/2014

An interesting trial- we're asked to be 2 completely separate companionships with different investigators and schedules working in different areas with different people..who all live together in the same apartment and share 1 car. As our investigator Brenda would say, "WHAT? I do not believe that!" (she says this after everything we teach her, but has started to add "well, I do believe that, I just didn't know that" for clarification purposes). We're trying to switch off the car on a weekly basis, but we cover the whole mission and there aren't even any Cambodians in the zone that we currently live in. So it's a pretty far distance from anyone who's even the right race, and that doesn't even account for if they say thanks but no thanks in which case we have to walk another half mile to the next nearest Cambod's house. Needless to say it is not productive. We spend a lot more time walking and talking to random white people then getting to teach those we're trying to visit. Cambodians aren't big on set appointments; if you tell them you're coming back on a certain day at a certain time and does that work for them, they say, I don't know it hasn't happened yet. But you can try and stop by, and if I'm here and not otherwise occupied, then sure. This is not as big of an issue when you can just get back in the car after a dropped appointment and go try someone else. But when you planned out your whole day around walking there to talk to that person, and then find they're not home, and have to walk another several blocks to try another person who may or may not keep their appointment..this is what we call frustration in the biz. If you must know I may or may not have prayed for patience recently (go back like 4 weeks ago email if you need to be reminded that God answers such prayers) and have therefore brought this upon my companion and I in order to teach us to learn patience very quickly. The question now is, at what point do I tell my companion that I likely inadvertently caused this? If you were thinking never, that's the same train of thought I'm on right now too.

So one of the lessons we're walking to today is Brenda, a 21 year old girl who is mentally about the age of a 10 year old. She's the sweetest, cutest, funniest person. She has a lot of fears that hold her back, in particular when it comes to church attendance. We've been teaching her for almost 3 months now, and are seeing her slowly make progress and come around to the idea of attending church. The coolest unexpected thing there is that when we first started meeting with her, she would always complain about the kids at school teasing her or talking to her or bothering her in some way. She would never talk to them, but always brought up the fact that she hated going to school and having to be around these kids that aren't her friends and she just wants to stay home with her mom and brother and not deal with those other kids. As we've been teaching her about Jesus Christ, she's brought them up less and less. It's probably been 3 weeks before she's mentioned anything negative about school at all. As she's kept her commitments and drawn closer to Christ, she views everything around her with greater positivity  and love. And she isn't so affected by the actions of those around her, because she feels the light of Christ in her life, and so the opinions of those bullies at school just don't bother her anymore. What an amazing thing to see. I have no doubt the gospel will continue to bless her life as she prepares for baptism.

I've been in the WA-TAC 43 weeks, and the church is true here too!

-Sister McQuivs

Janessa is down to one companion now--the gal on the far right. And here she is with one of her previous comps, (to the right of Janessa).

Eeeek! Quick e-mail 3/25/2014

March 25, 2014

We moved! Don't send anything to the old address. I don't know the new one yet, but the office address on 4007 Bridgeport is still good for anything!

I got the St. Pat's day package, it was way cute! For note of caution- all the candy in the package ended up tasting and smelling like Irish spring soap. Of course I still ate it. But just so you know- the permeating power of the soap is greater than any plastic covering. It all became soapy. Perhaps I should have tried washing my hands with skittles and seen if it worked just how it smelled.

Tell Tutu thank you so so much for that amazing gluten-free package, I can't wait to try out some of those mixes when we've unpacked the kitchen.

This transfer, my trainer Sister Noun is companions with Sister Walker, and Sister Dunster and I are together. There's only 1 car for the 4 of us, and we have to switch off per week which companionship gets the car. As sisters, we're not allowed to ride bikes. And the companionship with the car is not supposed to give the other companionship rides (the only exceptions being meetings which we all have to attend). Also, we now don't even live in our zone (if we get on the freeway, it's about a 15 minute drive from our nearest investigator). So every week, for the companionship that doesn't have a car..you sure better hope your investigators keep their appointments! Otherwise, it's sure gonna be a long walk to the next cambodian (it's not like they all live next to each other you know). What an adventure! I'm sure we'll become intimately familiar with Washington's rainy season this transfer.

On the upside, I'm now cooking for a family of 4 which makes preparing meals feel a lot more worth the time and effort (especially now that I can't even eat them, because I can't afford to cook gluten and dairy free for the whole household). I am freakin homemaker of the year these days. I've hemmed and mended suit pants for 4 different Elders in the last week, I cook 3 well-balanced meals a day, I make survival care packages in mason jars for missionaries who are sick (hand santizer, tissues, cough drops, nyquil, herbal tea, soup mix, with a ribbon and a note on the lid), and I create incentive programs to get my girls to do various things. Last transfer I made me and Walker sticker charts when we were getting over our colds, and every time she finished another water bottle she could add a sticker, and when she filled the chart, she could buy a new skirt she'd been wanting. I wash the dishes, fold laundry, and sing the girls lullabies (the last one's against their will).

Ready for this?

I've been in the mtc for 10 weeks and in the WA-TAC for 42, which makes a total of 52 weeks, or one year, serving as a missionary. I've been out for a year, guys! And the church is true here too!

-Sister Janessa McQuivey

Say's Story

We are in the Tacoma East zone of the WA-TAC mission. To our left (I guess that would be west-ish) is the other half of our stake, the Tacoma West zone. West-er of that is Lakewood zone. And then Wester and a little South-er of that is Lacey zone. As Cambodians, we're allowed anywhere where we have a referral. But our main teaching area is the two Tacoma zones and the Lakewood zone. Anywhere outside of that we can go, but we just have to get permission from our mission president first. 

In our zone is the Allenmore ward, which is the Samoan ward for the whole mission (and beyond). They kinda have similar rules as us, except their ward has been running for many years and so they already have active members in every area that they would visit. We're generally pretty tight with Allenmore, because they are in the most similar situation to ours (because they have no boundaries, and can only teach those who are Samoan, instead of teaching anyone who lives in their particular ward area). One of the Elders who served in Allenmore got transferred to Lacey, and his first day there, he met some guy at a bus stop and started talking to him. The guy didn't speak English (this is very common), but because he was friends with us, the Elder knew to ask him if he was Cambodian. The guy said yes, the Elder asked if he'd be interested in learning about Jesus Christ, the guy said yes again, the Elder got the guy's address and told him Cambodian speaking missionaries would come to his door. In case you didn't catch on, that guy was Say, and we were those Cambodian speaking missionaries.

Never before had we gotten a referral in the Lacey zone, because the only missionaries who give us referrals are ones who served near us and know to look out for Cambodians. Lacey zone is out of our usual tracting area, so every time we went to teach Say, we had to call our president and get permission first. The first time we met Say, we told him we probably only would be able to come teach him once every 2 weeks or so. He was fine with that, eagerly accepted a Book of Mormon, and prayed with us at the end of that visit. We called him a week and a half later to set up a second appointment, and he asked if he could go to church. We started calling around to all the wards in Lacey to figure out whose boundaries he lived in, and we found that there was a less active recent convert young Cambodian mother who'd been baptized a year before in the Lacey 1st ward. So we talked to the Elders there, they arranged a ride for Say, and we sat next to him and translated the meeting during 2 hours of church. That first Sunday was in the beginning of January. He wore a tie and button up shirt his very first time in a church, and then came every week since until the day he was confirmed, which was more than 2 months later. He even went to both sessions of stake conference, wearing a suit. 

Our first lesson with him was in a Jack-in-the-Box close to his house. Then we introduced him to the less active woman in the ward, Sawine, and with her permission, started holding weekly lessons at her house. Every Saturday we'd drive 35 minutes to her house, teach Say a lesson, give him a pamphlet to read on his own later, and leave him with a commitment. Every Sunday he came to church with a plastic bag holding the Book of Mormon and bible we'd given him, as well as every pamphlet we'd ever left with him. The bishop of the Lacey 1st ward tried to set up his ipad to the gospel principles book for Say to use, but the App didn't have Cambodian as a language option. By the next Sunday, the bishop had ordered 3 Cambodian gospel principle  books, one for Say, one for Sawine, and one to keep in the library. Then Say started bringing his gospel principles book every Sunday too.

When we told him about the word of wisdom, Say said he'd need at least 4 months to quit smoking and drinking coffee. He got a priesthood blessing in church on Sunday and was completely off both only 5 days later. He'd been free of both a week and a day when he was baptized on the 1st of March.

I have a testimony that Say was able to be baptized because he wanted to follow God so badly and had the faith necessary to keep every commitment we threw at him. We accidentally taught him that the law of chastity meant he wasn't allowed to create children, and he even agreed to that. Sawine quickly asked us what the heck we were talking about (while her 3 children ran around the room), and once she understood what we were trying to say, explained to him that once he was married it was perfectly fine for him to create children if he so chose. That's just funny because we're bad at Cambodian. But the point is, Say was willing to do it. No matter what we asked, even if it was ridiculous and incorrect, he was willing to follow because he knew that this is God's true church on the earth, and so whatever he needed to give up to follow God, he would do it. Say is one of the most prepared, amazing, inspiring people I've ever met. I feel so blessed to have been entrusted with teaching him. And so awestruck at the love that God has for each of us individually, that he knew to send an Elder all the way to Lacey so that he could see Say at a bus stop and send us the referral.

I've been in the WA-TAC 41 weeks, and the church is true here too!
-Sister McQuivey

More photos from the mission blog: