Untitled 4/29/2014

Sorry about your eye, that sounds painful!

I have to go early to transfer meeting today because my companions in a musical number that needs to practice. That means I have to leave right now, pretty much. But I'll write something later this week

Temple week, fun facts about your friendly neighborhood asians, and stages of grief

4/22/2014

That title was the most direct summary I've ever done. Like Isaiah, I'm trying to be plain in my speaking.

We went to the temple this week!

It was the best thing in the world. I actually felt a physical ache when we left and I realized how long it would be before I had the opportunity to attend again. But- you know that quote about "missionaries: people who leave their families for a short time so that others can be with their families for eternity", even as dramatic and overused (I've seen it on scarves) and footsteps-in-the-sand-ish as that is, it's true. That's our purpose and our hope. And the families we're working to reactivate in the church, we hope to be able to help them reach that goal of being sealed as a family for time and all eternity. Remember Aaron, who got baptized back in last June? He's approaching his year mark, and his wife Toni already passed her year mark in March. They want so bad for their marriage to last beyond the grave, so that they're still husband and wife in heaven. So they've set the goal to go to the temple as a couple and be sealed on June 28th. Because I had the privilege of teaching Aaron through to his baptism, I (and hopefully several other missionaries who've worked with them in the past year) will be able to attend that ceremony. What a wonderful blessing! I'm so grateful they've stayed faithful to the covenants they made at baptism so that they can look forward happily to the day that they'll be able to be sealed in the temple.

Some things you didn't know about Cambodians:

*They do not like the Vietnamese. It all goes back to the Khmer Rouge, which makes sense because most people don't like invading forces in their country. Go study something about Cambodian history if you want to know why. Back when they had an operating branch here, it was the Asian branch, not the Cambodian Branch. So it had a little bit of everything: Viet, Cambo, Thai, Laos, Chinese, Korean.  And when it was at its peak of activity, the branch was split into 2 branches which met in separate buildings across town. If you were Vietnamese, you went to the one in Hilltop area in the Stadium building. If you're Cambodian, you went to the one on the East side in the building by Safeway. Everyone else went with whomever they most identified. That's how much they dislike each other - it was best for their spiritual development that they remain separated. Think Samoans and Tongans, or like Jews and Samaritans. It's funny though because a lot of them have mixed heritage (like hardly anyone is 100% Cambodian) and so a lot of them have a portion of Viet in them. But they don't claim it as their own, and seldom admit it's a part of their ancestry. A few times lately, investigators or members who feel very close to us and really trust us will whisper that they're a 1/4 Vietnamese, and then act all ashamed like they just told us they've broken all the commandments. We try to be understanding of how big of a deal it is that they've shared this, and assure them that it doesn't change our views of them or make us or God love them any less. 

*They love Safeway. It's a ridiculously high-priced grocery store, where the same things you find at the dollar store are priced at your-first-born-child and $0.99 (but if you have a safeway card, you can get $0.30 off so it's only 1 small child + $0.69. That's what I call a deal). For this reason, it makes no sense that Cambodians love this store, when most of them shouldn't be able to afford it. They make the bulk of their income from going up into the mountains to cut bear grass, bringing it into their garages, inviting all their friends over to thrash and bundle it, and bringing it into seattle to sell it to be used in flower arrangements. It cuts up your hands. I'll send pictures (woohoo self-mutilation). Anyway, most of the cambodians are struggling financially, especially because they abuse the concept of credit (they all own houses and cars they can't afford, which they now work non-stop to try and pay off) and they love to gamble (it's a cultural pastime. They have slot machines in the buddhist temples). So they shouldn't be shopping there. But they all know and love Safeway. So it's easy to give directions to our building because we'll tell them left, here, right here and they look at us with blank faces. Then without fail, when we say, "it's ក្បែរ Safeway" and they all go, "ohh, Safeway" and nod understandingly.  It's a great place to find potential investigators and overpriced food. 

These are our Best Friends, the GQs. On the right is Kid Zion, famous for lyrics such as "they tell me I'm a stranger in this land- gringo. But when it rains you know I stay warm- peacoat. Eat mormon crickets till I barf- seagull. When Christ be at the bar you know he judge- legal". On the left is just plain Larson. They use the same hair product and only wear skinny ties. If they are given a tie that's too wide, they skinnify it before they ever where it (where you un-stitch the back of the tie and cut the sides off and re-iron it and re-stitch the back so it's thinner than before). They shop primarily in the mens section of H&M, as well as some retro thrift stores.

Something you didn't know about me: 

*Because it's me, and I'm pretty vocal about whatever's happening in my life, I've found that my recent gluten/casein sensitivity and therefore my decision to avoid these things largely affects the lives of my companions. So in order to be more accommodating, I have constructed a system that warns them of my mood before they need to encounter me. On a prominent wall in our house, I have hung a sign that says, "Today I'm experiencing.." and then a space to hang what the answer of the time is. In a envelope next to the sign, I have written out on index cards the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, bargaining,  and acceptance. So depending on how I'm feeling about my diagnosis that day, I hang the applicable index card on the wall by the sign. That way my companion and the other companionship in the house knows to deal with me accordingly. For example, when I'm in my denial stage, I'm way into anything that would distract me from the diagnosis, so I get into all these projects and things. If my companions see denial on the board, they know its a good time to ask me for a favor because I'm looking for ways to ignore the problem. In bargaining, this is the time in which I've decided its not that big of a deal if I have this or that thing that contains gluten. My companions know this is the time to ask me to bake them things or go out to eat. In  pretty much all the other stages they just avoid me. It's a rather effective system. Mostly because it gives me something distracting to do when I'm in my denial stage.

And pictures:

 

We get transfer calls this week on Saturday. Wowskies this one went fast.

Thanks to Tutu and Mom for the most excellent Easter packages! We died eggs at the church on Monday and then hid one (hardboiled) egg at a time somewhere in the Young Women's room for our companions to find. By the world's standards, a lame Easter. By my standards..I have received a plethora of candy and seem to be gaining weight at a steady rate so I say Easter well done. 

I've been in the WA-TAC 47 weeks, and the church is true here too!

-Sister McQuivey
word, homefriends.

More photos:

perks to being on foot!

why, even with a gps, it's sometimes hard to find the people we're looking for

look, my calves are pinker than the skirt! hahahaha

  just attending the temple like a regular baller. 

Happy Easter/New Year 4/16/2014

April 16, 2014

I live at
4525 S Warner
bldg H # 74,
Tacoma WA 98404
And I've gotten all the mail that's been sent to the office! Thanks for not forgetting about me. I like being a missionary with less than 6 months left who still gets mail, that doesn't happen much around here and it makes me feel loved that even after a year you still miss me.
On Monday I hit my exactly 6-months remaining mark. This is different from my year mark because you go home from your mission at the end of your 18th transfer (each of which is 6 weeks) for elders, and 13th for sisters. So I did 1 transfer plus 4 weeks in the mtc, which means I hit my 1 year a month before I hit my 6-months left.
This week is Cambodian new year, which means 2 weeks of nonstop partying..for our investigators. For us it means no appointments because everyone's at the buddhist temple all day everyday, and when we drop by their houses they're hungover and not in the mood to visit long. But when we have been able to meet, we've had the special opportunity to share Easter themed messages with those we visit. We're always teaching and testifying of the savior, but the approach of Easter Sunday means that we get to put special emphasis on the miracle of his resurrection and the assurance it gives us that we too will live again. If you haven't already seen Because of Him, look it up on YouTube or go to mormon.org/BecauseofHim . The church put out a great video commemorating Easter Sunday and Christ's resurrection. I love sharing that message because it brings comfort to everyone for different reasons- those who've lost a loved one, are suffering from a physical ailment, or who feel burdened down from the guilt of past mistakes- all can find peace in the knowledge of the resurrection.
I'm especially grateful for that knowledge in the anniversary on Sunday of my uncle Jarrod's passing. I never met him, but i know where he is and that I'll be able to spend an eternity following this life getting to know him. All of that is thanks to the atoning sacrifice and resurrection of our Savior.

I've been in the watac for 46 weeks, i only have 6 months left, and the church is true here too!
Sister mcquivey
Also i would like to point out that i typed this whole email out on one of the smartphones in the sprint store so whattt i haven't forgotten how to use technology. 

Conference week and we doin alright

This is our week to be on foot, so we anticipate street contacting a lot of white people and turning them over to their respective English speaking missionaries. I feel like the weeks we don't have the car, we're pretty much full-time referral-giving missionaries for whoever's area we're in at the time. It's great for them, it's slow for us. On occasion I wish there was just a Cambodian area where all of them were required to live and then every door we knocked on would be someone we can potentially teach. Obviously that's the definition of segregation and not okay on so many levels, yet that thought has crossed my mind. Apparently walking is getting to my head a little, probably because I forget what it feels like to exercise.

This past weekend was conference weekend, but only for us and 1 of our investigators. They broadcast conference in about 10 different languages, but Khmer isn't one of them. The LDS website indicates conference will be available in 80 more languages between 2 days and 2 weeks after it airs. So assuming Khmer is one of those languages, we'll be able to watch it/listen to it with our investigators and members somewhere between today and the end of April. 

Conference was bomb-diggity though; we got to watch the Saturday afternoon session with Brenda at her house on her home computer. I'm pretty sure hers is one of the first computer prototypes and belongs in a museum with other fossils of a similar age. It doesn't help that she's a Torch user (which she explained by saying that it was faster than IE. Well, yes. Everything is faster than IE. That's like saying I choose to ride a snail to work everyday because it's faster than a banana. While true, this statement disregards your other options, namely a Ferarri (mozilla), or an Aston Martin (chrome). I would like to say that I converted her, but I'm pretty sure part of her rational in browser choice has to do with that she likes the colors of the torch desktop icon, and I just don't know how to argue with that). 

I ended up downloading chrome for her and that only took 40 mins (surprising because I'm pretty sure the innards of her PC look like a scene from the Flintstones, where there's little cavemen who have to hand draw every webpage before its available for our viewing). We started the second session 40 mins late, and it froze about every 5 mins or so (which provided for snack/bathroom breaks) so by the time it reached 3:00 pm and the computer froze for good, we had missed the last 3 talks of the session. But it was probably a good thing for Brenda, who was tiring quickly and might have resolved to never attend church if we'd ended up doing the full 2 hour session with her. A lot of it went over her head, but in her closing prayer at the end of the lesson she said, "thank you we got to watch the conference and learn about...Jesus." So evidently she understood the overall purpose of the talks, even if some of the words confused her.

And of course, that is our purpose and goal as missionaries: to invite others to come unto Christ. I loved Ballard's talk where he 'followed-up' on two previous talks. That's something I'm working on being better at as a missionary. It's difficult when you teach 20 lessons a week to all different people with whom you leave different commitments. Sometimes I show up at a return appointment and get their previous lesson confused with 10 others and don't remember exactly what I committed them to do. But if we want these people to progress in receiving the restored gospel and coming unto Christ, we need to help them make and keep commitments so that they'll be prepared to make and keep covenants. And I can't help them do so unless I'm following up with previous commitments, and helping them understand the connection it has to their personal spiritual growth. 

Hey, this week get your PMGs so we can start like a book club next week. How cute would that be? Families that study together are silly putty together (and who doesn't want that?)!

I've been in the WA-TAC 45 weeks, and the church is true here too!

-Q

(just kidding. Sister McQuivey. But look how well that last line rhymed)

Don't You Love It When E-mail Day Lands On April Fools?

April 1, 2014

This has been a crazy week, even by our standards. First of all, remember Veasana, the one who writes the letters and proposes to us on the daily? Well, he was up to his old schemes in our latest lesson. The problem being that Sister Dunster hadn't gotten the best night's sleep the night before, so she was dozing off as he was talking. I elbowed her awake just as Veasana finished professing his undying devotion for us, and I guess she was in a dream because she woke up and yelled out, "I do!" (she later explained to me that she'd been in a dream in which the mission president had asked, 'who wants the last slice of cake?' and that's what she'd been responding to. Poor timing). Veasana was so excited, he lept up out of his chair and ran out the door to start making arrangements. Unfortunately since then, we haven't been able to get a hold of him to explain the error. His phone line is tied up because he's been trying to make reservations and book a florist and caterer. I was having so much fun thinking up cake flavors and dress designs that I just decided to get on board with it as designated wedding planner. Dunst was still opposed until she saw that she could put a baby grand piano on the registry, at which point she gave in and accepted the engagement. All Veasana can afford right now is a ring pop, which Dunst doesn't love, but I'm thrilled with it because it means I have a gluten-free snack with me at all times.

Then of course, it just got nuttier when the other Cambodian companionship crashed the car. We've been switching off every other week so far, but now without a car, we're forced to be full-time skateboard missionaries. President has asked that we spent 30 to 60 mins a day, following language study, at the local skate park practicing. He feels like we'll be much more efficient missionaries once we can skateboard quickly, and also hopes that we might pick up some investigators when we're showing each other skate tricks. So far, I've mastered the ollie, the nosegrind, and a pop shove-it. Dunst on the other hand has got down the inward heel flip and can land a frontside on a half pipe pretty comfortably. It hasn't resulted in more teaching opportunities thusfar, but we have learned some valuable slang and it's given us a whole new area to draw lesson analogies from, so that's promising. (For years, people were riding goofy footed because they didn't know how to skate correctly. This was called the apostasy, bro.)

Finally, we've officially decided it's more worth our time to just be full-time Buddhist missionaries now. You see, all Cambodian people out here are already members of the church, but have been going to the Buddhist temples in the years since their baptisms. When we ask them why, they explain to us that Jesus Christ and Buddha are the same, because they both teach us to do good and not go to jail. I didn't know that's all it took for religions to be the exact same! What's with all the religious confusion when all churches that recommend we don't spend years behind bars are actually the same church? So because Mormonism and Buddhism are so similar, we've decided to start teaching Buddhist doctrines to all we meet. It's difficult because we don't actually know any, so we mostly just roll down the car window and yell at kids on the street to do good and not go to jail. It's going really well, except that we did get into a Spanglish fight with a Mexican mother for making her son Jose cry when we asked him if he wanted to go to jail. We called the Spanish Elders (who are now teaching Catholic doctrine to their investigators) and they quickly cleared it up by saying "estas chicas están locas en la cabeza" which they said means "these girls are beautiful daughters of God so don't get upset with them". We're so lucky to have them on our side!

That's pretty much all that's happening with us! Oh, except that I'm in love with my district leader and I'm leaving my mission early to marry him. I don't know what his first name is yet, so just go ahead and tell people that his name's elder. We got matching tattoos of our name tags over our hearts, because we love being missionaries. Isn't that cute?

I do insist that Parson Brown officiates the marriage, because he asked me if we were married and I said no man, but that he could do the job while he's in town.

-Sister McQuivey