This is my group's last week in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) before they all head
to Cambodia. Definitely bittersweet, because it's going to be pretty weird when
they all leave and I'm still here. But, I'll receive one-on-one teacher help my
entire last week here, which will grow my language ability immensely.
Every Monday we do service, which can mean setting up
chairs, sweeping the sidewalks, washing the windows, etc. But for us it always
means cleaning a residence hall: vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, changing out
rooms so they're ready for new sisters to move into. The last one is probably
the best job, because sometimes you're assigned to ready a room where the
previous sisters left piles of candy, expensive hair products, hangers (which we
never seem to have enough of), and the rule is, anything we find we can either
take or throw away. We've got this monstrous candy pile in our room which is
the combined finds of all 6 of us plus any food we've received in packages. The
first thing I do every morning (following saying my prayers) is to eat a piece
of candy. The last thing I do every night (following saying my prayers) is to
eat a piece of candy. For real, I'll be so tired that I can't even keep my eyes
open, and I'll be blindly feeling around for candy. It's possible that I have a
problem...
It's amazing all that we're still learning at week 8. The
new Thais that came in last week are always asking us what we spend our time
doing, because they're learning so much in their first two weeks that they
assume we must know the entire language now and be just reviewing. I think I
know maybe 1% of the language vocabulary-wise. But there's so much besides
language that I still don't know. Honestly, when I came into the MTC, I felt
like I already knew the gospel, so the only thing I would need to do is learn
Khmer, and then I'd be ready to go. Oh how wrong I was! I've never been so
aware of all of my faults and how much I need to work on. And I've never felt
such guilt when I do mess up. I think it's because I'm so aware now that this
is not my time. Before I felt like it was very much my own time, and I could
spend it however I wanted because it didn't affect anyone else but me. But I'm
coming to recognize that our lives are a lot like the principle of tithing- God
has given us all our blessings, including our monetary prosperity, and he only
asks for a small portion of it back. Similarly, the only reason I'm here, that
I'm living and have time and choices about what to do with that time, is
because God granted me life, time, and agency. He's only asked that give him 18
months of that gift back to him. So every time I complain that it's hard and I'm
tired and I don't know if I want to do this, I'm ignoring the fact that He
gave me my entire life. Every time I spend my study time doing something I
want to do instead of focusing on an investigator, I'm breaking the
promise I made to give Him my time. And every time I feel like I don't
need to be exactly obedient, I'm refusing to give him my agency.
I don't think I've ever put 100% into anything in my
life. Every grade I've ever gotten, every race I've ever run, I always feel
like if I had prepared a little more or tried a little harder, I could have
done better. When we're told here to put our very best into everything, that is
such a challenge for me. But it is such a blessing. The best feeling in the
world is being able to lay your head on your pillow at night and think, I did
everything I possibly could have today. I put forth my very best effort. I have
done everything I can, and so I know God will help me make up the rest. I'm so
lucky to be a missionary.
I've been in the MTC 8 weeks, and the church is true here
too!
-Sis McQuiv
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