Week 6

(My preparation day, which is that day I can email, has now been moved to Wednesdays. Expect Wednesday emails from now on!)

So.. received the following shocking news this past week: THEY ARE KEEPING ME HERE AN ADDITIONAL WEEK. I repeat, I will now be here for 10 weeks, which is basically my entire life.

I am doing my best to exercise faith that this is the best thing for me. (Translation- this is a trial and I'm not especially happy about it). For those of you that don't know, usually MTC stay time is 12 days for people who don't have to learn a language. For those that do learn a language, it's usually up to 6 weeks. And for those whose language looks like spaghetti, they keep you here 9. We definitely need the 9 weeks, the language is complicated, but it's still tough to see so many people come in after we do and leave before we do. Now, in addition to that, I have to see my entire district, who all came in when I did, leave before I do. When you're a missionary you have to be with a companion at all times. My companion will be leaving a full week before I do, so in that week I'm going to have to pack up my stuff, move rooms, move classrooms, and change companions. It'll be just me and a teacher in the classroom all day for the week, when right now there's usually a 12 person buffer between me and the teacher (ie I only have to answer about 1/12 of the questions, and I practice teaching people with 2 companions. But in my last week, I'll be the only Cambodian speaker so I'll have to answer 12/12 questions and teach all the lessons by myself. Yikes!)

My teacher pulled me out the other day to have a stern talking-to. He said that the other members of my district have a luxury I won't- language immersion and companions who speak the language. Even the other Elder in my district who's going stateside will have at least 6 other Cambodian-speakers who can help him learn. I have no one. I'm not only the only Cambodian-speaker in 30 years to go to Tacoma, I'm the very first who has to learn Cambodian (the past missionaries 30 years back were from Cambodia, so Cambodian was their first language). My teacher told me that while I'm making good progress in comparison to the rest of the district, that I need to learn so much more than they do, because they will have opportunities to continue learning when they get to Cambodia. I will not. My only chance to learn the language is now. My companions will all be English speaking, at least for a while, and if I do get a Cambodian speaker, it will be someone who just learned it in the MTC and needs me to teach and train them. My teacher said essentially, you will have no support system, it will only be you. Therefore, you need to learn so much faster and so much more than you have been, even though the rest of the district doesn't. I said, 'okay' and then went in the bathroom (with my companions) and cried. It was a tough thing to hear, especially considering that I have already been trying so hard and I don't know what more I can do. But I've got to find strength to do more, and trust that God will uplift and help me.

As result of that talk, I haven't spoken a word of English since (except to non-Cambodian speakers and when we're in our room at night). It's really frustrating because there's so much I don't know and it takes so long to form a single sentence. But I think it will make a difference. At least by doing so, I'm showing God that I'm doing everything I can on my own, and then he will help me make up the difference.

We teach 2 types of people here: the first is our teachers, who play the roles of investigators they taught on their missions, and the second is Cambodian speaking volunteers who come in on Saturdays. A lot of them are returned missionaries, but there are a few who are actually Cambodian. This past week we taught a Sister Meak, who was probably about 4 feet tall and maybe 70 years old. We couldn't understand hardly a word she said, which is funny considering she spoke a lot of English. But everything she said was in a super thick accent. We asked her to give an opening prayer, and in it she started to cry. Afterwards she told us about how tough her life has been- living through the Khmer Rouge and so much of her family being killed. Many family members left and she has no idea if they're alive or dead. Her husband was flying planes and she and her children escaped to America, but have never heard from him and don't even know how to try to find him. She has had such a tough life, and when we asked her how she finds peace despite all of this hardship, she told us that reading the Book of Mormon and praying to God bring her comfort. It was powerful to hear her testify that she knows she'll see her family again after she dies, and that if they are with God now, they are happy.
 It really struck me that the Cambodian people have been through so much. Our teachers told us that every person we teach will know someone personally who they lost in the Khmer Rouge, considering that 2 million people died just in the mid 70s. I can't even imagine what that's like, to lose everything and everyone, and to have to escape to a weird country and start over. But I don't need to know what that's like, because I know that Jesus Christ does. When he performed the atonement, He experienced everything we've ever felt and have yet to go through. What a great blessing it is that I have the opportunity to share this message with the Cambodian people of Tacoma. That's why it's so worth it that I work my butt off to learn this language. Because if I do so, I will be able to communicate to people that Jesus Christ understands, that He loves us, and that He wants us to live with Him and God and our families again after this life. I saw how important that message is to Sister Meak, and I will do anything it takes to be able to share it with others.

I've been in the MTC 6 weeks, and the church is true here too!

Much love,

-Sister McQuiv