Don't You Love It When E-mail Day Lands On April Fools?

April 1, 2014

This has been a crazy week, even by our standards. First of all, remember Veasana, the one who writes the letters and proposes to us on the daily? Well, he was up to his old schemes in our latest lesson. The problem being that Sister Dunster hadn't gotten the best night's sleep the night before, so she was dozing off as he was talking. I elbowed her awake just as Veasana finished professing his undying devotion for us, and I guess she was in a dream because she woke up and yelled out, "I do!" (she later explained to me that she'd been in a dream in which the mission president had asked, 'who wants the last slice of cake?' and that's what she'd been responding to. Poor timing). Veasana was so excited, he lept up out of his chair and ran out the door to start making arrangements. Unfortunately since then, we haven't been able to get a hold of him to explain the error. His phone line is tied up because he's been trying to make reservations and book a florist and caterer. I was having so much fun thinking up cake flavors and dress designs that I just decided to get on board with it as designated wedding planner. Dunst was still opposed until she saw that she could put a baby grand piano on the registry, at which point she gave in and accepted the engagement. All Veasana can afford right now is a ring pop, which Dunst doesn't love, but I'm thrilled with it because it means I have a gluten-free snack with me at all times.

Then of course, it just got nuttier when the other Cambodian companionship crashed the car. We've been switching off every other week so far, but now without a car, we're forced to be full-time skateboard missionaries. President has asked that we spent 30 to 60 mins a day, following language study, at the local skate park practicing. He feels like we'll be much more efficient missionaries once we can skateboard quickly, and also hopes that we might pick up some investigators when we're showing each other skate tricks. So far, I've mastered the ollie, the nosegrind, and a pop shove-it. Dunst on the other hand has got down the inward heel flip and can land a frontside on a half pipe pretty comfortably. It hasn't resulted in more teaching opportunities thusfar, but we have learned some valuable slang and it's given us a whole new area to draw lesson analogies from, so that's promising. (For years, people were riding goofy footed because they didn't know how to skate correctly. This was called the apostasy, bro.)

Finally, we've officially decided it's more worth our time to just be full-time Buddhist missionaries now. You see, all Cambodian people out here are already members of the church, but have been going to the Buddhist temples in the years since their baptisms. When we ask them why, they explain to us that Jesus Christ and Buddha are the same, because they both teach us to do good and not go to jail. I didn't know that's all it took for religions to be the exact same! What's with all the religious confusion when all churches that recommend we don't spend years behind bars are actually the same church? So because Mormonism and Buddhism are so similar, we've decided to start teaching Buddhist doctrines to all we meet. It's difficult because we don't actually know any, so we mostly just roll down the car window and yell at kids on the street to do good and not go to jail. It's going really well, except that we did get into a Spanglish fight with a Mexican mother for making her son Jose cry when we asked him if he wanted to go to jail. We called the Spanish Elders (who are now teaching Catholic doctrine to their investigators) and they quickly cleared it up by saying "estas chicas están locas en la cabeza" which they said means "these girls are beautiful daughters of God so don't get upset with them". We're so lucky to have them on our side!

That's pretty much all that's happening with us! Oh, except that I'm in love with my district leader and I'm leaving my mission early to marry him. I don't know what his first name is yet, so just go ahead and tell people that his name's elder. We got matching tattoos of our name tags over our hearts, because we love being missionaries. Isn't that cute?

I do insist that Parson Brown officiates the marriage, because he asked me if we were married and I said no man, but that he could do the job while he's in town.

-Sister McQuivey